1882: Ned Kelly’s Executioner Jailed for Indecent Exposure in Melbourne

Elijah Upjohn had hanged Ned Kelly at Melbourne Gaol in 1880, earning five pounds for the job. Two years later he was back in front of a City Court bench, this time as the accused: drunk in Carlton, he exposed himself in front of witnesses, to whom he tossed peppermints moments before.

Fined 10 pounds or three months, Upjohn refused to pay and was sent to Melbourne Gaol, the very institution he had served as executioner. While locked up he kept working, flogging inmates at Pentridge under sentence, and walked free at year’s end with wages still owed to him.

Elijah Upjohn: Executioner of Bushranger Ned Kelly
Elijah Upjohn: Executioner of Bushranger Ned Kelly

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1829: The Five-Pound Threshold: Two Men Hanged at Sydney for Burglary

Daniel Grier and Charles Penson were hanged at Sydney in 1829 for nothing more than burglary: stealing from a dwelling house goods valued at just over five pounds, a sum that under the law of the day was enough to turn a break-in into a hanging offence.

They died on the same gallows as a young murderer, though their own execution became its own grim spectacle. As the drop fell, the rope twisted at the nape of Grier’s neck and his limbs quivered horribly for several minutes, while Penson spun briefly and died with barely a struggle. Before the ropes were adjusted, all three men on the scaffold had joined in singing a hymn together.

Old coins.
Old coins.

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1854: Being Drunk Was No Excuse: A Husband Hanged at Maitland for Beating His Wife to Death

Neighbours near Lydney Park on the Hunter River heard Mary Walsh begging “to spare her life” as the blows fell, then heard her husband Christopher Walsh order her to leave the house. She said she could not. By morning she lay dead on the floor, covered in bruises, a gun and blood-stained trousers found nearby.

At his trial, his own counsel argued that jealousy and drink should reduce the killing to manslaughter. The jury was not persuaded, convicting him of wilful murder after less than two hours. He was hanged at Maitland gaol before a crowd of some four hundred, including women and children.

On the scaffold he had a message read out: he claimed he had come home sober, only for suspicion of his wife’s infidelity to work him into a rage that drink then inflamed. He said he now believed her faithful, regretted his violence, and held no animosity.

Empty bottle on wooden background symbolizing alcoholism
Empty bottle on wooden background symbolizing alcoholism

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1978: The Vatican Cover-Up That Fuelled a Poisoning Legend: the Death of Pope John Paul I

Pope John Paul I was found dead in his bed after just 33 days in office, the shortest papacy since 1605, with a religious devotional still in his hands. The Vatican initially claimed a priest had discovered the body; in truth it was a nun, Sister Vincenza, who found him, and officials lied about it out of embarrassment that a woman had entered the private papal quarters.

No autopsy was performed and the body was embalmed with unusual speed, feeding decades of speculation that he had been poisoned to stop him exposing corruption at the Vatican Bank. One theory even produced a mobster who claimed to have helped administer the poison. Later research drawing on confidential Vatican archives instead found a simpler explanation: a history of heart trouble, chest pains the night before his death, and no doctor ever called.

Castel Gandolfo Lazio Italy. Portrait of Pope John Paul I, albino luciani in the museum of the pontifical villas 11 Sep 2022 Castel Gandolfo Italy | ID 259284583 © Maudanros | Dreamstime.com
ID 259284583 © Maudanros | Dreamstime.com

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